Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Family or Lack Thereof
I was out in the field picking blueberries this evening, when my wife cam out frantically calling for me. Now you have to realize picking blueberries at this time of year is like my snowshoeing in the winter. It is a time for me to be alone with nature and to talk to God as I pick the bountiful gifts He has given us here on the Gale Farm. Regal (my black lab cross) was running around in the field like a possessed dog, gobbling down mouthfuls of the luscious blue fruit that is hanging off the bushes like bunches of grapes. I made my way through the tall grass that is in need of mowing, out to the road up through the field. Janet had a piece of paper waving it over her head. Citi-Bank bank had called asking to speak to Judy Bartoswicz, well there is no Judy living in our house, however my sisters name is Judy, but we have not seen her in over 20 years, since my fathers death. I had tried to stay in contact with my family but they all for some reason or another would not return the favor. To the point that I just celebrated my 50th birthday, and never heard form a single member of my side of the family. My children have basically grown up without ever really getting to know their aunts and uncle form my side of the family, nor my mother and her second husband. What it had amounted to was Judy has used my name and phone number in order to get a loan for a car, (which the monthly payment is more than the mortgage on my house). She is late on the loan so the bank had called my house in order to demand payment. The sad thing is even though I am struggling to make do in my life, and struggling with the downturn in the building industry, if she had even made an effort to stay in contact with me I would have helped her and maybe even made the car payment for her. I told my wife if she ever gets a hold of Judy to ask her three things about me, my birthday, my age, and what disease I have that I will probably die of (I am not fatalistic, but I just face reality), and I know she would not be able to answer anyone of the questions unless of course she stumbles onto my blog she could get a couple of the answers. I just hate to divorce myself from a member of my family but their comes a time when for mental health and stability you really have to
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The only thing sadder than what you've described here is when it's a parent using a child to do what your sibling has done here. (And, yes, I've known of those cases, too.) We'd probably all like to think family members wouldn't stoop so low. But as reality (and your sister) proves, some of us choose to use others (or try). In those cases, I think the right thing for any of us is refuse to be used. After all, love doesn't mean enabling bad behavior. Still ... some day I hope your sister DOES learn how you would have helped IF she would have taken the hight road.
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