The Walking Stick

Alost noone uses old fashioned wood walking sticks anyore, but if you look out on my porch, you will see four or five of them leaning up against the railing at any given time. There is something about the feeling of of the wood in my hand, as I swing it back and forth while I walk. It is comforting and familiar.

Oh sure people use the new high tech poles that resemble ski poles with the impact absorption tips, and at one point I thought I would like a set of those, but once I tried a set they felt foregn and out of place in the woods.. The people I see using them always seem to be rushing someplace, as if the walk is a chore to get done before they go someplace more interesting. To me the walk is the interesting thing.

To me the walk is part of the journey, a chance to get out in nature and see what mysteries God wishes to reveal to me at that time. In my journies out in the back forty, I have leaned against my walkign stick and gazed back over the field at a mist shrouded Green Mountain. I have looked down at amazement at moose prints, or coyote tracks. I have seen bear, deer and moose. I have used it as a brace while I have watched squirrels and chipmunks scurrying across the leaves. My walking stick is like an old friend, it fits comfortably in my hand. If you stop by the farm for a visit, chances are I will offer you a walking stick. I walk in the woods in search of the perfect sapling, and cut it by hand, and rough size it right there in the spot. I then bring them down tot he house to work on, and usually sit in the driveway while i strip the bark off with a knife I had bought in Norway many years ago.Once the bark is off I'll sand down any rough spots that could possibly irritate the hands, and give the stick a nice smooth finish where your hand could possibly rest. I will also burn in a quote such as "Walk Daily WIth God" or "Life is a journey not a destination". After that is done, lately I have taken hand rubbing a tung oil finish into the stick to help keep it looking nice as long as it can.

My favorite stick say to Walk Daily with God", which is taken from a poem I have written, for it reminds me to be with Him always, and to give thanks for all the little blessings in my life.

So the next time you take a walk, hang up the high tech poles, pick up a trusty wooden staff, fit it to your hand like a glove, and really take a walk in nature, and notice truly notice what it has to offer.


Walk Daily with God


When life has you down,
And hardships pile up.
When the world is blue,
And you are depressed.
This advice I give to you,
Take a walk with God.

When you feel forsaken,
And the mountains high.
When the path you are on,
Seems to lead nowhere.
Heed this advice,
Take a walk with God.

When times are good,
And life is happy.
When the sun does shine,
And the birds are singing.
Give your thanks,
And take a walk with God.

Share with Him,
All your sorrows.
Share with Him,
All your fears.
Talk with Him as a friend,
As you walk with God.

Laugh with Him,
As the jays do play.
Give thanks to Him,
For the tranquil sunsets.
Do all this my friend,
As you walk with God.

Remember this, that God
Is here from start to end.
And we are but a dash,
between two years.
So take the time,
And walk with God.

He has the time,
To spend with you.
He has the desire,
To commune with you.
My friend in good and bad,
Remember to walk daily with God.

Paul Bartoswicz

Conversation With God

I sat down in my quiet place, and let my breathing settle and my heart slow down. I had read my Bible at home, then took my dog out for her walk into the upper field. I let her run chasing unseen scents from where various animals crossed in barely perceptable trails. The mist softly rose off Green Mountain across the street. That morning mistthat clings to the mountain always seems to settle me down, it has a calming effect on me.

I sit on my rock, taking in the sounds of nature, the rustling of the breeze through the grass, the occasional soft neighing of the neighbors horses, and even the sound of the trucks out on the main road past the end of our property. I take a deep breath and try to clear my mind and then begin my daily ritual of prayer. I should say it is more like a one sided conversation with God. Money has been tight, and I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. Our savings has been completely drained, and we live day to day off my job in Internet Sales at a car dealership, where sales has been dreadfully slow. My wife works two part time jobs, one she loves and lives to go to on Fridays and Saturdays, ond one she hates and drags herself to 3 days a week. I start my monologue, “Dear God, I have faith you exist, and that you watch over us, but why do you let me suffer soand not answer my prayers. I need so much and you are very capable of providing, but you seem to turn a deaf ear to me.You don't answer and always seem to leave me hanging.”

A stirring inside of me and a warmth seemed to eminate from within, rising from my toes, up my legs into my stomach and chest, despite the morning chill in the air. My head spun and a dull ache in my heart stirred to life. I heard, or I should more aptly say I felt a voice stirring deep inside of me. I can't quite explain it, I didn't hear the voice in my ears, but rather heard it with my heart, but could understand it just the same.

“What troubles you my son,” it said to me, and I realized it was God speaking to me. It wasn't the deep booming voice from heaven we think of when we see movies like The Ten Commandments, but a soft whisper, neither male nor female.

“Abba,” I responded, “Why don't I hear youwith my ears?”

“Because, my son,” the voice responded, “I speak to you through the Spirit, for when I breathed life into Adam, the life I instilled in him was that of the Holy Spirit, which is in place in all of you my children. It is there before you were born into this world, and it will be ther long after you pass from it. It is what sets you apart from the animals in my kingdom. You have a piece of me dwelling inside you, and I am with you always.”

I felt at peace, and instantly realized this was true, and I started, “so the Trinity...”

“Yes my son, the Trinity does exist,” the voice responded. “I am God the father as I have been called, but more accurately I am God the Creator. Look around you my son, everything you see was created by me. I set the world in motion right down to the great glaciers that set this stone in place that you sit upon and talk to me. Before you Willis Willis would sit upon this rock and rest from his tiring work in this very field, and as a boy he would climb upon this rock as he watched his father toil in the summer heat.” I realized he was talking about Willis Gale and his father Daniel Gale. Willis was my wife's great uncle, and Daniel his father. They owned this farm before I bought it from my in-laws., but this was no secret. They left it to my mother in law, and were very well known in the area, people to this day talk fondly of old Willis Gale.

The voice went on, “So I am God the father and creator of all that was, is, and is to be. I am the common ground that unites all of existance. Inside each of you is your soul, the inner you, the part of you that wasbefore you were. It dwells inside of you, and always will be even after your body passes on to become the dust I created you from. Along with the soul that exists inside of you I have instilled a part of me , that man has come to call the Holy Spirit. The Spirit talks to you on a daily basis, even though mankind has lost the ears to hear it, but you feel it. It is that tugging at your heart, trying to get you on the right path, trying to guide you past the pitfalls in life, and to my heavenly purpose. But you as man through the original defiance you have come to call the original sin, have allowed another to dwell inside of you, and that being controls you through the EGO, and tells you how great you can be, by worshiping things that do not matter, like money and possessions. Essentially when you follow ego, you edge God out of you life and let the dark power take over, aqnd control the direction you take in your life.

Look at the mess in this world, the collapsed economies, the lost jobs, the devalued properties, it is all a result of greed. Man wanting more than he truly needs, houses were getting bigger and bigger, as were the mortgages, and deceptive ways were devised to cover up the debt incurred. Things are considered neccesities that aren't necessary at all. They ar enice to haves and it would make my life easier if...but not necessary at all to live. Cars had to be fancier and bigger.Things considered neccesities may be nice but truly not neccessitie to live. Things had to be bigge, fancier, more economical. All because the one who controls the ego said it should be. You as a society have strayed from your roots. You government fills your headwith lies and like the rest of you, lives well outside of its means, but no one wants to sufer the hard cuts because of a sense of entitlement. You learned nothing from my earthly incarnation in the form of the Christ. He came to earth as an example of how to lead your life, and howit should be lead, and to hopefully awaken you to the existance of the Spirit inside of each of you. He was sent to be the part of me that exeperienced what you experience. He was sent to be the Rabbi of all Rabbi's. I have listened my son, not only to you but to generation upon generations who were like you.” the voice said unto me.

“How do I know you listened my Lord, I mean my life is so messed up and seemingly empty.” I cried.

Is it now? Empty you say, I would say just the opposite, your life is rich and full. I have instilled in you a purpose to minister to your fellow man, and you have found your niche in caring for your fellow warriors. You warriors hold a special place in my heart because for the most part you fight the evil in this world. You put you lives on the line to fight tyranny and hatred, but you also pay the price with your thousand yard stares, and metal anguish from experiencing the horros that man can inflict on their fellow man. This is a result of evil getting inside and messing with the EGO, and filling the mind with self centered thoughts which result in Edging God Out of your lives.” the voice inside my heart continues, “ now to your original prayer, when have I not answered your prayers? You prayed for help in heating your house and I arranged for one receptive to delivering wood and accepting payment over time, then I went a step further and got you a load delivered free of charge from another source. You prayed for relief of a car loan...”

“Now wait a minute God,” I say,, “ I got out from under the car payment because my daughter totaled her mothers car, now that can't be the same thing.”

“Now my son,” God went on,” why does it have to work out exactly as YOU want? Yes she was in an accident, and totaled the car, but didn't I protect her from injury, as well as the other driver? Didn't you get exactly enough to pay off the loan on the car? I would say it all worked out for you.” “You Prayed for money to pay for truck repairs, and didn't I provide work that paid enough to cover those expenses, as well as provide a lady you have become friendly with and is a huge fan of yours?You prayed fervently for a job when your unemployemtn ran out and I provided one. Ialso provided finacial help whn you needed it to pay your bills. When you though Christmases were going to be dismal, didn't I provide money for you to buy presents for your girls, and you admitted yourself tha those were two of the best Christmas's of your life.”

“So okay God,” I ask, “Why do you let bad things happen to good people?”

My son,” God responded, “I don't let bad things happen to good people, you people alone allow bad things to happen to yourselves. Again you rely on EGO to sort things out, and rely on your own understanding. You Edge Me Out, even when you come to me in prayer, rather than listening to the stirring in your heart, and the murmeurs of the Spirit, you rely more on your own intuition and the direction of the EGO. Yes I created the EGO as an instrument for you to develop some pride in your accomplishments, but you have pushed it furhter and further ahead in your life, and placed it above me. Many people worship themselves above me and fail to acknowledge any control I have over their lives. They turn only to themsleves for answers, and take credit for all the good things that happen in ther lives, but blame me when things go wrong. There are two things and two things only I ask of you as humans, and that is to love your fellow man as you love yourself, and two is to in all ways acknowledge me. You must remember that Gratitude is an attitude, and that it is catchy. Just as you like your children to be grateful for the things you do for them, I like all my children to be grateful for the things I do for them. Just as when your children are grateful , you are willing to give them and trust them more, I am also. However, just as you are dismayed when all your children do is come to you with their hands out looking for more without acknowledging what you have already done for them, I get upset when people come to me in prayer and just ask for blessings in their lives. It is totally within my power to make everyman wealthy in ways you can only imagine, but I do not do so because if you are not to be thankful for the small things in your lives, you will never be for the big things either.. Additionally with the benefits of my treasures comes the awesome responsibility of sharing the treasure with those around you as I share them with you. Do you understand what I am saying? You give so freely of yourself and that which I have entrusted in you, but others do not. They think the amassing of gold and jewels make them rich, they fail to realize it is not the ability to amass the vast amount of riches, but the ability to share what I have trusted to you with others that makes you truly rich..”

“My big fear my Lord,” I muse, “is that I am not praying properly.”

“My son,” my heart murmurs, “is there a proper way to pray? You tell me.”

“I don't know Lord,” I reply, “So many people in the Bible seem to have it wired, with the right amount of formality, even people at church, yo uknow the pious ones that use the flowery words and kneel with their heads bowed. That just doesn't feel right to me, I don't know, I just want to do it right.”

“There is no right way, and there is no wrong way to pray,” the voice assures me. “There is only what is comfortable to you. How do you talk to your friends? Are you all formal and correct when you talk to them? If you are comfortable on your knees, then by all means do that. If you are more comfortable sitting on a rock in the middle of a beautiful field with the sounds of nature all around you, then by all means do that. I really don't care, what I do care is that you share with me and come to me with your joys as well as your fears. I care that you have a sense of gratitude for what you have. Talk to me as you wold your wife and kids. What is right for you is right for me.”

“Okay, I say,”I can see that, but it seems that you don't hear me or care to answer.”

“I always answer you Paul,” the voice assures me, You just have to remember, your time is not my time. To me a day is like a millenium, and a millenium is like a day. I answer you when the time is right, in my time, not yours.

“But God,” I cry, “How do I know that if I don't hear you?”

“Paul, Paul, Paul,” He goes on, “You also have to remember man has forgotten how to hear me. I didn't stop communicating with you, you stopped learning how to listen. Abraham, Enoch, Daniel, David, and even Paul learned how to listen to the murmur in their soul just as you are doing right now, that is how I communicate with you. I also send you messages through your surroundings and nature. Remember when you decided it was right to start a ministry, you were talking to me in a garden. What happened then?”

“I remember,” I said, “A hummingbird landed on abranch right next to me and sat there looking at me. I felt so peaceful and everyhting felt so right.”

“And was that not an answer to you?”

“I see what you mean my Lord, I see what you mean.”

“My son just because I don't ensure you have all the things you think are the finest in the world, I have entrusted you with some of the most precious gifts life has to offer. A good woman at your side, the sound of giggling children at play, the beauty of a sunrise and sunset over the mountains. And you do show gratitude for these, and I am appreciative of that, for many don't and just grumble about what they don't have even when I have given them so much. So go forth my son and enjoy the pleasures I have given you, and remember this, the most precious gift is time, for even though it goes on eternally, your time in this physical body is limited and finite,and you can't replace any of it once it is gone, so spend it wisely, and enjoy every second of it.”

With that the voice subsided and my heart went quiet, but the glow remained and I knew my conversation with God was over, for now. But I also felt if I continued to speak, God would be ther listening. I walked back to the house a few minutes later with a new fresh perspective on life, and my relationship with my Creator.

Geting Oldr and Older

It has been three years since I wrote the following blog about when Did I Get Old, and I am amazed at how much has happened the orginal post was this.....

Several things happened to me recently that made me ask myself this question. When did I get old? When did life speed by and leave me in the past? My daughter asked me to volunteer and help the Kingswood Ski Team setting up the race courses the other day. In a previous time I would have been to busy to be bothered with such mundane stuff, but in recent times I have realized how important it is to be able to do the small things with your family and friends. So I told her to tell the coach I would help. We got to the ski area and I rushed to get my equipment on, and proceeded up the mountain and with a special “wrench” in hand I proceeded to screw down the gates for the slalom course. It didn’t take to long for me to realize I am not as young as I used to be, my legs ached from standing on skis on such a steep incline, my shoulders ached from turning the wrench to force the screw on the bottom of the gate into the frozen snow. I wondered when the task would ever end as I looked down the mountain at the long snaking line of gates running to the finish line. I realize I am not as young as many with children my age as I was in my early thirties when Khrys was born. Later that day I was skiing down a black diamond with my daughter, I was at the top of the trail and Khrys started down the hill, I followed behind her watching her carve a line down the mountain. I believe I blinked once, and when I looked down the mountain she was gone.


I realized how that is with our children. We raise them and think they will always be there, but when we blink, and our eyes reopen they are grown and gone starting a life of their own independent of us. All we can hope is that we raised them properly and equipped them to live a life that would make us proud as parents. I remembered this little girl at my side when I was first teaching her how to ski. She held my hand and looked up at me with trusting eyes, as we waited for the chair lift to come around and take us up the mountain. Like most protective fathers, when the chair came around and hit me in the back of the calf, and forced us to sit in the seat, I reached in front of her to make sure she didn’t slip from the chair, as I brought the safety bar down. I took her down the mountain prodding her to remember her turns instead of barreling straight down the mountain. She was the headstrong one, and she tried my patience as we worked our way down the mountain. I then realized that I should put her in lessons. She was little more advanced than a straight beginner, but not yet up to the next level, so I sprung for private lessons for her, but being the protective Dad I hung back behind the lesson and watched her listen to the instructor and do as she was told. When her lesson was over I talked to the instructor, and he told me that this little girl with wide blue eyes had a natural talent when it came to putting skis on her feet. I remembered that as I looked down the trail and saw the graceful curves of her trail going down the snow. She is a natural at life, she takes things in stride, and moves on with pride and determination that she is going to make her mark on life in her own way. She is no longer that little girl that holds my hand and trusts I will make everything okay and safe for her. I realized then that I had grown older, and was no longer the required leader I her life, but in many ways a bystander, standing back watching her meet life head on. In many ways I realize she still does need me, but I also realize that I have to stand back and let her make her way in life.


I then look at my own fallibility and frailness as I reflect back on slipping on the ice and giving myself a concussion, with the headache that accompanies it. Then I was told by my wife that a friend of the family had passed away form a heart attack in his garage. I realize how short life really is. Earlier in December the music director from the high school’s life ebbed out after a battle with cancer. Time is short and we grow old and deteriorate, so take life one day at a time, and enjoy each and every moment as if it could be your last.


In the time that ela[sed since I wrote this post...my oldewst has come back from college, bought her first car and started her first "full time" job and taken over her own bills. The little girl I wrote about in the original blog has gone off to college, made Deans list her first Semester of college life , gone to New Orleans to work work on the Katrina Revitalization program during a school break, serves on the student senate at Johnson Statte College,a dn co-ordinate volunterr effort programs at the school. She is a self imposed perfectionist that strives to be the best at what she does. My youngest is in Middle School and developing into quite the woman she displays dignity and poise along with compassion and love in everything she does. What hurts is I don't want to give up that role of protector and guardian, and stand back and watch them make their mark on the world. It makes me proud to do this but also makes me feel ancient, and unneeded anymore. I am no longer the man who carried a screaming baby on my back up and down the street becasue it was the only way to get her to quiet down. I am no longer the man that the girls reach up and take his hand when they are scared, and frankly I am not adjusting well to the new role in my life. I miss th littel girls in pig tails and mud boots, but I am so proud of the ladies they have become. I love you all, maybe a little differently but I love them all the same

DeStress

I read once a long time ago that every person should have a place they can go that is within 5-10 minutes of where they work, and where they live that they can destress and just get back on track. I was thinking of this the other day when Pastor Mitchum and I snuck away to talk for an hour at one of my secret locations, and Dan had made the comment that "it was so nice to get out there and hear the river in the background rather than the clicking of keyboards, and the hum of machinery, and people's voices in other offices. I was thinking about this for the last couple of days and realized how blessed I am to have so many of these "secret" places to get away to even though I haven't really taken advantage of them to their fullest potential. My own back yard up in the field is one of the first places, and they are all in their own way God's outdoor cathedrals, a place where we can reflect on the grandeur of His great creation. It may be noisy as in the river but it is God's noise not man's noise that predominates, and it can be a place that is very quiet for the most part as it is in my field, with the only real noise being the wind blowing through the trees and the rustling leaves. I think we all need to find such places, and if they were utilized I think you might find our stress levels as a country decrease, and with the decreased stress levels, I think we would find that our medical needs go down also.

Just a thought.

The Awesome Journey

The Awesome Journey


Don't be anxious
Wait on the Lord
Don't let fear take hold
Trust in the Lord
Your life is a journey
Let God be the guide
Let God take hold
And follow His will
And His patient hand
Guide you on your way
Let His eternal calmness
Settle your troubled soul
Let the whisper of His vice
fall gently upon your ear
Open up your senses
And let Him into your life
Feel the warmth of His love
wash over your body like the sun.
Let His desire for your life
change your eternal soul.
His still hand allows
you to reach beyond the grave.
When you learn to trust
In His will for you
You set upon a journey
of awesome proportions
Don't be envious
of what others have
Be joyful of what you have
In God's great plan.
And enjoy your ride
On God's awesome journey.

Paul Bartoswicz 7/26/09

I wrote this poem during church on July 26th as I reflected on what life had to offer as well as a reflection on Pastor Dan Mitchum's sermon series he has been preaching on. The whole financial mess we find ourselves in today is in part due to envy, we must be able to keep up with the Jonses and have everything they have regardless f how much debt we must bury ourselves in to get it, then our financial lives are so finally balanced, that one little blip in our finances slips us over into the abyss of despair.

A Wake Up Call

As unpopular as my posting today may be with some people, I have been reflecting on the current economic situation we are currently going through not only in this country, but in the world overall. I think we are going through a wake up call of historic proportions. We are a world that has gotten to materialistic, and dependent on physical things, and creature comforts. More often than not both parents work to provide nicer vehicles, and bigger houses than we really need.

The banking crisis was a result of people stretching their mortgage payments out to the maximum they could afford in order to buy houses far to big and fancy for their needs. We are a society that has to have all the latest and greatest in the world of electronics and entertainment. Our homes are not complete without them. We all have to have cell phones, and the highest of speeds on our internet. I just read an editorial about teenagers using cell phones to cheat on tests as well as sending naked pictures of themselves out into cyberspace. It is estimated according to this writer that 1 in 5 kids have taken a nude photo of themselves and passed it out into the electronic world. Cell phones have also made it easier for kids to arrange drug transactions, and go around behind their parents back in regards to relationships, especially when you tie the internet into that. We use a computer in my house as I have to have internet in order for me to do my daily work, but we restrict the computer to the living room or kitchen for the kids under 18 where my wife and I can keep some semblance of an eye on our kids while they are using it. Many kids are not that restricted and can go just about anywhere in the house and have access to a world that is begging for them to find mischief of some sort.

I think the overall economic crisis is a wake up call for us to examine our lives and find a lifestyle that calls for family values and learning to do without some of the extravagances in life rather than having all the creature comforts. I can remember a time when dining out was a big deal and we were all on our best behavior because it happened so seldom. As a family of 6 we lived in a modest house of less than 1600 square feet and and I shared a room with my brother while he was still at home and my sisters shared a room, rather than each of us having our own room. Even today my wife and I have a house that is only about the same size of less than 1600 square feet. We don't have a luxurious master suite with walk in closet, and private bath, we have one bathroom for the entire family (I do admit as the only man I would like to have at least another 1/2 bath) We don't go out to eat all that often to a restaurant, we may order subs or a pizza in for a special treat, but even that is not all that often. My wife tried to stay at home when the kids were younger than school age, and event today with one a senior in high school and one in 5th grade, we try to have one of us at home when they get home from school. We eat dinner together as a family,and yes still say grace and ask for God's blessing before our meal. We do without a HDTV, and our kitchen does not have all the latest gadgets you can buy, event though I do like to prepare some gourmet meals every now and then. We don't find the need to travel to extravagant locations for vacation, we do spend time exploring some of the things to do in our own home area. Yes it would be nice to be able to go to some luxurious location for a vacation, but we think it is more important to be a part of our children's lives on a daily basis. We still ask how our kid's day was when they come through the door (even though sometimes they want to take our head off when we ask) Nothing makes me feel more like a dad than when my 17 year old still asks for my help with her homework.

We have tried to ingrain on our girls the importance of community and community involvement. The lessons seem to have made an impact, when I watch my girls take part in events, and help where ever they can. All three girls worked on the moving wall when it was in Ossipee, and on the last day when asked if she wanted to go home with her mother after the closing ceremony my then 10 year old told her mother she could not abandon her post because the veterans were counting on her. When my 17 year old seeks out projects that will make an impact on the community it makes my heart swell with pride. She recently wrote an essay for a scholarship application that in essence said that volunteer work makes life worth while, and makes her feel so good when she sees how she has helped other people.

Let us take this opportunity to learn a lesson and simplify our lives. We don't really need all the extras that we have somehow decided are necessities. We can get by with a lot less then we really have. I recently listened to a Pastor talk about why they grow a vegetable garden each year. they don't do it because they need the food, they do it so their kids will learn that a tomato comes from the ground rather than just coming from the supermarket. They do it so the kids will learn that they have to take care of the plants and fertilize them, and water them for them to grow strong and produce fruit. Well guess what we have to do the same thing for our kids. We have to nurture them, we have to care for them, we have to be there for them, and not just leave them for others to care for all day long, or to leave them to their own devices. When I sit in my chair and watch my daughters still cuddle with my wife on the couch I know all is right with the family and that even though we have our moments when the girls yell at each other and say they hate each other, they still know the value of family and supporting each other in all they do.

I need Your Help

My family has been on a terrific journey for the last 23 years. We are a family that steps up to the plate and helps people and groups when they need help. It is not uncommon for us to spend our vacations and free time helping out in some volunteer capacity. To me it can be much more rewarding and relaxing then just laying around on a beach somewhere. I have bitten in lately to several projects which are to say the least huge.

A minor project which is no less important than any of the others is where I need the help right now. In an effort to collect can tabs for the Shriners Hospital of Boston


One man's trash is another man's treasure, and in this case the little aluminum can tabs are collected at approximately 1300 tabs to a pound. The tabs are sorted and then sold for recycling value to help pay for the Shriners Hospital of Boston which provides free care to children up to 18 years of age.

My family is undertaking a collection drive for these tabs, and help raise money for this much needed project. I need 5 gallon buckets to help in the collection and storage of these tabs. I strongly encourage anyone to collect these tabs, and if you have clean 5 gallon containers that we can use at collection sites and for storage in my barn I would greatly appreciate hearing from you. Please e-mail me at bartoswicz@roadrunner.com

How Do You Respond?

I am currently reading a book by Robert Schuller Tough Times never last but tough people do, Inspirational writings. in this book Dr Schuller poses a question, How do people repsond when you ask them how they are doing? He rates the answers on what he calls "Schuller' Scale of Spirit". Everyone's answer falls somewhere on this scale of 1 to 10, but it totally reflects their attitude on life and ultimatley how well they may succeed in life.

1. Silence, trembly lips, eyes filled with tears.
2. Profane Anger, a torrent of swear words
3. Awful, you would be too if you had the problems I face
4. Not to bad. ( this is barely just one step above awful)
5. Pretty Good (just a a step above not to bad)
6. Good
7. Great
8. Terrific
9. Fantastic
10. Sensational

While we may never get to many responses in the 1 to 3 range, even though I have heard 2 and 3 a few times. The same is said of responses in the 7 thourgh 10 range. I hear a lot of Not to Bad, and pretty good responses, even the good or fine range, but they do tend to be pretty negative comments about us. We have become a very negative society, we tend to look down on our lives, and not counting our blessings. We grow complacent about our abilities, and when things go wrong we feel helpless to change them or climb out of our complacency. Negativity is running rampant in society today, especially with the economic downturn we have experianced. Even now with signs of the country coming out of the slump we still tend to be negative and fatalistic. The dollar is growing stonger, prices seemed to have peaked and seem to be edging back down off the crest, but we moan and groan about what we don't have, instead of being thankful for what we do have.

Just as negative, we seem to part company by another seemingly innocuous statement such as Take care, or Take it easy. They seem on the surface a pretty neutral comment to be making, take care, don't do anything to rock the boat, don't venture to far from land. Discoveries weren't mande by taking care. Continents would still be undiscoverd if we all took care. Answers to medical problems would still be unanswered if we all just took care. The same goes for take it easy. Many things worth accomplishing would go undone if we all took it easy. The world would be a much different place if we all just took it easy. When the times get tough, tough people have to roll up thier sleeves and do things the hard way, not take it easy.

On the scale of life where do you fall, not to bad or sensational? Do you plan to take the bull by the horns, or stand around and just take it easy? And for those who care to ask I am sensational. I woke to a beautiful sky, I have a loving wife, and I have all the opportunity in the world, I just have to work at it and not take it easy, or for granted. I don't sit around waiting for opportunity to fall in my lap but I get out and try to make my own breaks.

Saturdays

We tend to take time for granted and feel that things will always be the same and that those we love will always be there. A friend sent me this story. I had seen it before but forgotten all about it. It will put a lump in your throat.

"3900 Saturdays


The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.


A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time.



Let me tell you about it.



I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind; he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business He was telling whomever he was talking with something about 'a thousand marbles.' I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say.



'Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. It's too bad you missed your daughter's dance recital' he continued. 'Let me tell you something that has helped me keep my own priorities.' And that's when he began to explain his theory of a 'thousand marbles.'



'You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years.'



'Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part. It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail', he went on, 'and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays. I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy. So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear.'



'Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life.'



'There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight.'



'Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure that if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time.'



'It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band. This is a 75 Year old Man, K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning!'



You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club newsletter.



Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. 'C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast.' 'What brought this on' she asked with a smile.' 'Oh, nothing special, it's just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. And hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out? I need to buy some marbles.'



A friend sent this to me, so I to you, my friend.



And so, as one smart bear once said...'If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.' - Winnie the Pooh."

I hope you go out and buy your marbles. Let us get a real perspective of what is most important in our lives

Family or Lack Thereof

I was out in the field picking blueberries this evening, when my wife cam out frantically calling for me. Now you have to realize picking blueberries at this time of year is like my snowshoeing in the winter. It is a time for me to be alone with nature and to talk to God as I pick the bountiful gifts He has given us here on the Gale Farm. Regal (my black lab cross) was running around in the field like a possessed dog, gobbling down mouthfuls of the luscious blue fruit that is hanging off the bushes like bunches of grapes. I made my way through the tall grass that is in need of mowing, out to the road up through the field. Janet had a piece of paper waving it over her head. Citi-Bank bank had called asking to speak to Judy Bartoswicz, well there is no Judy living in our house, however my sisters name is Judy, but we have not seen her in over 20 years, since my fathers death. I had tried to stay in contact with my family but they all for some reason or another would not return the favor. To the point that I just celebrated my 50th birthday, and never heard form a single member of my side of the family. My children have basically grown up without ever really getting to know their aunts and uncle form my side of the family, nor my mother and her second husband. What it had amounted to was Judy has used my name and phone number in order to get a loan for a car, (which the monthly payment is more than the mortgage on my house). She is late on the loan so the bank had called my house in order to demand payment. The sad thing is even though I am struggling to make do in my life, and struggling with the downturn in the building industry, if she had even made an effort to stay in contact with me I would have helped her and maybe even made the car payment for her. I told my wife if she ever gets a hold of Judy to ask her three things about me, my birthday, my age, and what disease I have that I will probably die of (I am not fatalistic, but I just face reality), and I know she would not be able to answer anyone of the questions unless of course she stumbles onto my blog she could get a couple of the answers. I just hate to divorce myself from a member of my family but their comes a time when for mental health and stability you really have to

Responsibility

I wasn't going to do a post on this occurrence, but the more I thought about it, the more I decided I had to. Before I get in to the meat of the post I ma going to tell you a little story. Saturday July 5th started a most Saturday's do in my house. My wife got up early and did her puttering around the house before she left for her job delivering the mail in town on Saturdays. I was up with her, and at 7 I woke Khrys up so she could get ready to leave for her babysitting job. She babysat all day arriving home about 5:15 grabbed a quick dinner, and changed clothes before heading out for her evening job busing tables at Whittier House Restaurant. Janet and spent the evening home watching television and I went up to bed around 10:30 (yes a late night for me, just after Khrys called saying she was out of work and on her way home, something she always does so her mother and I will not worry about her. About 10:45 she called her mom and said a friend had called her and asked if she could take her friend up to the store to get a movie because she was bored, and then Khrys said she would be home right after that. About 11:20 the phone rings again, it is Khrys informing us she had been pulled over and one of the people in in the car had put some beer in the trunk , and she was being charged with transporting alcohol as a minor. Janet got me up and we drove to West Ossipee, where we found her car by the side of the road, and two police cars behind her, and the K-9 unit sniffing the car. The police officer told us what happened and we told him we did not agree that she knew what was going on and he explained what he thought she did, which sounded reasonable if you did not know the way we had brought our daughters up. He had said there were a couple of cars in the store parking lot and she elected to park away from the door on the other side of the cars that were at the store...Well we have taught our children to be respectful and if you are able and there is a parking spot in front of the door and one away from the door to take the one away from the door to allow those less able to park nearer the door. however when the other cars left she moved over closer to the door, which the officer said set off another red light in his head. So when she pulled out of the parking lot they tailed her and pulled her over and asked if they could search the car. Not knowing she had done anything wrong she let them and they found the beer the "boy" had put in the trunk, and cited her, they also brought in the K-9 unit to sniff the car which he found clean. I do not fault the police officer as he was just doing his job. The car was impounded and she was released into our custody. it cost her 160.00 hard earned dollars to get her car back the next day. I explained to her it was her fault as she was the operator of the car and ignorance of the law is no defense, and she understood. I did not yell and scream at her as she half expected me to I just gave her a hug and drove her home. I also explained that if the shoe was on the other foot and she got a friend to giver a ride and knowingly put beer in a car driven by a minor not only would she be in trouble for the beer but as a father I would expect her to pay her share of the impound/towing fees as she was just as guilty, or even more so than the driver. SO she told her "friend" how much the fee was and surprisingly has not heard back from her. The "boy" turned out to be 27 years old, and I still use the term boy, because there are MEN out there at 17 showing a lot more maturity than this boy does. At 17 we have MEN making conscious decisions about joining the military and going to war to defend this country. This 27 year old boy has 5 children probably by 5 different girls, though I do not know that as a fact, but I have been told he does not take full financial responsibility for the kids. His idea of a good time is spending and evening with an 18 year old girl and getting a 16 year old girl to drive him to the store to get more beer, so he can get a buzz on and maybe make a 6th baby, after all he must be super stud. the ironic thing is this 27 year old boy lives across the street from a store and can not plan his day enough to get his beer there, which he can buy legally, before the store closes at 8 o'clock. this 27 year old boy stood beside the police car and assured us he was extremely sorry that he got our daughter in trouble with the police, but never offered to help with the cost of the towing or impound fees on the car. Now Khrys has a court date of August 13th where she has to appear before the judge, and admit she was guilty of a crime that she was unaware of and hope he doesn't take her license away from her as that would exclude her from being able to drive her senior year of high school and work after school to help make money to pay for her college education. This is a good kid with a big heart who takes people at face value and trusts them until they giver a reason not to trust her, and now Meagan has lost that trust, and this 27 year old boy is brought out for the scum he really is.

Now that I am Old

Well I finally reached that milestone. I turned fifty, however I was told not to look at as being fifty, I was told to look at it as being the 29th anniversary of my 21st birthday. Turning 40 didn't bother me but something about that 50th birthday. You are a full half century old, qualify for AARP, and other "senor programs" The one thing though that did make me feel old was my two oldest daughters took Janet and I out for dinner tonight and they paid for it. I think that is the biggest turning point in a fathers life when he realizes that his kids are becoming more and more self independent. Their reliance on me is not like it used to be. Sure they still come to dad for money at times, but they are able to do for themselves more and more. I t kind of makes me feel obsolete and not needed anymore, but also proud that they are able to do for themselves.

Fathers Day

I jokingly tell everyone that my gift to my wife on Mothers Day is that I take the kids for a day and give her some time off. Her gift to me on Fathers Day is I get to spend the day alone with the kids, who wins here.

The truth of the matter is for the most part I enjoy the time with the kids, and now that two of them are older the time I do get to spend with them is very precious indeed. The oldest Anya (21) is away working at camp. The middle one Khrys (16) is way to cool to spend much time with dad and or admit that she likes to spend any time with the old man. The youngest grace (10) is still at that age where time with Dad is fun, but at times she gets into that zone where no Dad you go do it, I want to do something else. For fathers day they "took" me ( I still ended up paying go figure) out to brunch at Whittier House where we had made to order Omelets and just about every other breakfast item you can imagine. I was given my cards and included in the cards was a $20 gift certificate for the local nursery, on top of a $20 gift card I had from Khrys at Christmas. Janet, Grace, and I paid a visit to the Greenery and I picked out five new varieties of Day Lillies. I purchased Apricot Sparkle, Barbara Mitchell,, Rose Emily, Prairie Wildfire, and Joan Senor. This brings my total collection of day lillies to 40. If you haven't guessed, I have a passion for day lillies, and hope to grow my collection to over one thousand before I die (so if anyone wants to make an addition to my collection any donations are accepted). It is a dream of mine to start to raise these commercially, along with Iris, and Peony's. After getting home from the nursery I changed clothes and Grace and I worked in the garden and planted my new treasures. I do enjoy spending time with the girls and it is a pleasure to watch them as they work in the garden. I had just finished weeding out this particular garden and spreading bark mulch on it, so it looks really nice with the new plants in it. I can't wait to see them in bloom, and each time they bloom I will remember the time I spent with Grace planting them, as each time the Hemerocallis Fulva blooms I remember the time with Anya as we dug up the entire patch separated them, replanted some and gave a bunch of them away. With Khrys it is every time I look at my flagpole and remember her helping me put it in, and the blueberry bushes out in the back yard. I remember the gift cards and for the most part I can tell you each year what I bought with those cards. You see my daughters I do love you all and remember the time we get to spend together because in a lifetime it is all to fleeting, and my wish for each of my daughters is that they have a garden of love where they can plant memories, and build off the ones I had already planted, because my gardens are more than just the plants in the ground, it is where I also plant the love of my family and my memories. Little do they know but each and every plant I have planted takes on a new meaning and a new memory for me to hold on to and cherish