Yesterday in church Pastor Dan Mitchum preached on James 3:1-13, the title of the Sermon was Taming the Tongue. The crux of the sermon was to think before you speak and to choose your words carefully, as words hurt. We are taught at a young age the saying Sticks and Stones can break my bones, but words can not hurt me. The contrary is actually true, words do hurt and they hurt deeply. In some cases worse than the sticks and stones, as the broken bones can heal and we get on with our lives, however the injuries that are caused by words can last a lifetime.
An example of this is a girl I knew growing up. She went to a different school, but I knew her through her family and some work I did for their family with my then brother in law. She was a smart very beautiful young lady, popular in her circle and very well thought of. Her parents went through a messy divorce, and in anguish her mother, who had found out her husband had been having numerous affairs, and supporting a mistress secretly yelled, in front of this beautiful young lady, "I should never have married that (expletive deleted)(expletive deleted), it was the biggest mistake of my life." What this beautiful young girl heard was I should never have married that man, and everything that happened with him was a big mistake. This translated to the girl that she was a huge mistake, even though she and her mother had had a pretty close relationship. She turned to sleeping around with whoever would have her, she started using drugs, and ignoring her schoolwork. This was in her senior year of high school, and she had already been accepted into the college of her choice. I lost touch with her when I went into college, and then the service, but did look her up at her mothers home in 1984 when I was stationed in South Weymouth Mass. She was a mess, smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day, hooked on drugs, and mother of a 4 year old with no father around (she said she wasn't even sure of who the father was). I am sorry to say I left her house that day and lost contact with her in spite of saying I would be in touch, as her lifestyle was not what conducive to mine. I don't know what ever happened to Lisa.
After hearing that sermon though and remembering this story, I can relate as to how words do hurt. Here was a bright promising young lady, who heard in a moment of rage and betrayal that her life was a mistake and that she should never have been. He promising life was sent into a spiraling downturn, until she was in a morass of drugs, promiscuity, and depression. I am sure her mother truly loved her and would not have changed having her in a moment, but those words uttered made such an impact that they erased years of relationship that the two had together. Words that if had been held in check, and not uttered at all in front of such an impressionable girl, would have had such a different result in this ladies life.
So think before you utter words, they may have very different results than you intended them to have. Are the legacy you wish to be known by?
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