Common Courtesy

Something has been bothering me a lot over the years and it has come to a head lately as I look around me in life, and that is common courtesy. Somethings I can see being a little more relaxed at, but others I still believe is common courtesy to others. What brought this to a head for me was two separate events over the weekend. On Saturday evening my Mother in Law took my family out to a bean supper. I was wearing my ball cap to the supper as I usually do when I am outside, and upon entering the fellowship room of the church I removed my hat and with lack of space around the table I clipped my hat to my belt loop and proceeded to sit down at the table. Down the table from me sat two men I would say in their 3's or early 40's both wearing their ball caps during the meal. Then the other stark contrast was my 19 year old daughter was asking people to please pass the beans or other meal items,and thanking them for it when she received it. The older couple across the table made the comment about her politeness,and it made me feel very good about the way I tried to raise my girls. The second event that irritated me this weekend was the next day at church they had the seating arranged in a circle around the communion table which I enjoyed, and a benefit to this is you could see more people around you during the service, instead of just the back of a bunch of heads. I looked over during the service and there was this one young man about the same age as my middle daughter and that s 19, and he was wearing his hat during church, not only wearing his hat but wearing it sideways in that ridiculous "gangstah" style that the young kids seem to want to emulate today. I can tolerate the relaxed style of dress prevelant at church today even though I was brought up that you wore your Sunday Best to church Sunday morning, and I even enjoy being able to go to church in a more relaxed style, but I also feel that this relaxed style should not override common courtesy.

A contrast in this was several weeks ago I went to a concert at the church in Union by two very talented musicians. After this concert I was talking to a young lady who happens to be the mother of a classmate of my youngest daughters. This lady kept calling me sir and Mr. Bartoswicz. When I made the comment that I wished sh would call me by my first name she responded back that she did not feel comfortable doing so for two reasons, first I was an officer in the military and she was enlisted and second I am substantially older than she and she was taught at a young age that you showed respect to those older than you by calling them Ma'am or sir and by the title Mr. or Mrs..

We have lost so much of this courtesy in our society today, our children call our friends by their first names, we walk by people struggling with packages without offering to help or even hold the door for them. Men do not treat ladies with respect or dignity, nor do women expect it anymore, sometimes even degrading a man for doing it. It is common courtesy to hold a door for any person. I tell my daughters that if they have a date pick them up at the house and the young man just sits in the driveway and honks the horn they are not going out for them, for if the young man can not get out of the car and come to the door to escort them out of the house, he is not worth the effort of your being seen with him., But I would expect them to do the same thing if they were picking the young man up at his house to go somewhere, because it is common courtesy.

I say it is time to make a difference and let's bring back some courtesy and manners back into society. Let us make this a more sociable place to live where we express gratitude when people do things for us, and we help others in our day to day lives rather than just being selfish and expecting the world to do for us all the time. We are connected to each other in more ways than we know, and the more we do for others, and the more we treat others with dignity, the more we are doing for ourselves, and treating ourselves with dignity.