Taming the tongue

Yesterday in church Pastor Dan Mitchum preached on James 3:1-13, the title of the Sermon was Taming the Tongue. The crux of the sermon was to think before you speak and to choose your words carefully, as words hurt. We are taught at a young age the saying Sticks and Stones can break my bones, but words can not hurt me. The contrary is actually true, words do hurt and they hurt deeply. In some cases worse than the sticks and stones, as the broken bones can heal and we get on with our lives, however the injuries that are caused by words can last a lifetime.

An example of this is a girl I knew growing up. She went to a different school, but I knew her through her family and some work I did for their family with my then brother in law. She was a smart very beautiful young lady, popular in her circle and very well thought of. Her parents went through a messy divorce, and in anguish her mother, who had found out her husband had been having numerous affairs, and supporting a mistress secretly yelled, in front of this beautiful young lady, "I should never have married that (expletive deleted)(expletive deleted), it was the biggest mistake of my life." What this beautiful young girl heard was I should never have married that man, and everything that happened with him was a big mistake. This translated to the girl that she was a huge mistake, even though she and her mother had had a pretty close relationship. She turned to sleeping around with whoever would have her, she started using drugs, and ignoring her schoolwork. This was in her senior year of high school, and she had already been accepted into the college of her choice. I lost touch with her when I went into college, and then the service, but did look her up at her mothers home in 1984 when I was stationed in South Weymouth Mass. She was a mess, smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day, hooked on drugs, and mother of a 4 year old with no father around (she said she wasn't even sure of who the father was). I am sorry to say I left her house that day and lost contact with her in spite of saying I would be in touch, as her lifestyle was not what conducive to mine. I don't know what ever happened to Lisa.

After hearing that sermon though and remembering this story, I can relate as to how words do hurt. Here was a bright promising young lady, who heard in a moment of rage and betrayal that her life was a mistake and that she should never have been. He promising life was sent into a spiraling downturn, until she was in a morass of drugs, promiscuity, and depression. I am sure her mother truly loved her and would not have changed having her in a moment, but those words uttered made such an impact that they erased years of relationship that the two had together. Words that if had been held in check, and not uttered at all in front of such an impressionable girl, would have had such a different result in this ladies life.

So think before you utter words, they may have very different results than you intended them to have. Are the legacy you wish to be known by?

Declutter your life

I was struck by a fact the other day, it had actually been there buried in the back of my mind for some time, and something my daughter Grace has been doing brought it to the forefront and cased me to reflect on it more and more.
Since Khrys came home from college she has been nagging Grace to clean her room and organize. Khrys has always been a clutter free type of person, at least in her own room (don't ask e about the rest of the house.) Through this verbal sparring, Grace finally started the decluttering process. Last Sunday, Janet and I went through a utility closet in Grace's room and disposed of several boxes of "important" stuff that we hadn't looked at in probably fifteen years, and ended up taking a truck load to the transfer station (ie. dump). Grace has continued on and produced about eight bags of trash for me to dispose of on Saturday. When I asked where it all came from, she responded it was stuff important to her when she was little, and that she was not little anymore, so it was time go. There were toys that were broken, games missing pieces that hadn't been played in years, but up until now she just couldn't bring herself to part with. She has books she has outgrown she wants to give away to someone who would enjoy them. When she said this I felt hit up the side of the head with a two by four. Out of the mouth of babes, and she is so wise beyond her twelve years.
We spend so much of our time in our lives cluttered by the junk of the past, and it seems like the older we get, the more we are cluttered, because more has accumulated to clutter us all up. I look into my office and I see the stuff I just can't live without. I haven't used it in years, but just can't do without it. My bedroom is the same way, pants I haven't worn in years have to stay there because I may fit in them again (yeah right).
Don't get me wrong, memories of the past are a great thing and do have a place in our lives, but not all the junk we tend to collect as humans. We must remember our past, for it is a part of what has brought us to where we are today, and it is important to remember. A famous quote warns us that if we do not remember history we are condemned to repeat it. The danger my friend is when we dwell in the past, pining for the "good old days". When we do this we have a tendency to lose the future and all of its possibilities. We cling to what was and seem to miss the the possibilities of what is and what could be. We tend to cling so tightly to what we think is important that we miss the path to what is so truly important.
An analogy I was thinking of, is a driver on the freeway. Where he is at any given moment is the now, anything behind the car is the past and anything in front of the car is the future. He is looking for a particular exit, one that he knows will get him to his destination. To do this he must be looking forward, facing the future. If he spends to much time looking in the rear view mirror watching where he has been, he can miss that most important sign telling him where he is to go.
The same thing is true in life. If we spend so much time looking to the past we miss the important signs for the future, and let us face it, the future is where we are going to spend the rest of our lives, regardless of how hard we try to block it, not in the past. is it time to get rid of the clutter in your life, so you can get out of the past and start your journey into the future. Loosen your bonds on the past, how many bags of trash can you get rid of, so you can journey boldly into the future.

A mother's sharing

We have a lady in town who is sharing her son with the country. For the second time she is sending him overseas to serve his country in Afghanistan with an April deployment date scheduled. The first time he went overseas she was struggling with some problems of her own, but would like this time to travel to Virginia to see him in the deployment ceremony before he leaves. The problem is her husband who works in the construction industry has been out of work for the last two years only able to pick up small jobs here and there. We are trying to take up a collection to send her to Virginia to see her son off. If any of my followers out there would like to help in this endeavor please feel free to contact me at bartoswicz@roadrunner.com. No greater love hath a man than to lay down his life for others. We must remember we have many many and women who are willing to do just that every day of the year. May God bless and protect them all.

The Great Equalizer

There is no promise,
of an easy life,
For any God's children
here on earth.
Life is filled
with toils.
Life is filled
with tribulations
No promise is given
of riches untold
or condemnation made
of abject poverty.
We shall toil
On a daily basis
Through the sweat
Of our labored brow
Some will see riches
beyond imagination.
Some will not
see any at all.
The world seems
So unfair,
But the true reward
lays not on earth,
but in heaven above,
In God's own realm.
For death becomes
The great equalizer
For we all
leave this earth
with nothing
but the name
we made for ourselves.
We stand before
our Lord
To answer for
the lives we lived.
Can you be proud,
Of the name you built?

Paul Bartoswicz

The State of the Union

We are at a crossroads in society today, depending on who you talk to we are either still mired deep in a recession that hasn't been seen in several decades, or just climbing out of the back side. Whichever you listen to, we still have a high percentage of Americans out of work and looking for virtually non existent jobs. I know the hardship those who are unemployed are going through as I am also stuck in that mode myself. It is a road full of highs and lows, and many of the policies the government has implemented do not work. I am a veteran, yet because of my time of service, after Vietnam, but before Desert Storm I do not qualify for a lot of the help out there for veterans, so you do it all on your own. I listen every night to the debate on the overhaul of health care, yet no discussion on how to help those who do not have a job...Obama has made comments that he would like to impose penalties on those who do not have insurance, but what about those who do not have a job and can not afford it, then they have to pay a penalty to the government as well? Doesn't make sense to me. We have to many people in this country with their hands out expecting the government to take care of them from cradle to grave. Yes insurance rates are rising faster than the rates of pay are increasing, but I do not see the government being able to do anything about that. It is our responsibility to take care of ourselves. We have to destress ourselves and work towards trying to live a healthier lifestyle, not drink as much, not smoke, not use drugs, the government can't do this for us, we have to do it for ourselves

DeStress

I read once a long time ago that every person should have a place they can go that is within 5-10 minutes of where they work, and where they live that they can destress and just get back on track. I was thinking of this the other day when Pastor Mitchum and I snuck away to talk for an hour at one of my secret locations, and Dan had made the comment that "it was so nice to get out there and hear the river in the background rather than the clicking of keyboards, and the hum of machinery, and people's voices in other offices. I was thinking about this for the last couple of days and realized how blessed I am to have so many of these "secret" places to get away to even though I haven't really taken advantage of them to their fullest potential. My own back yard up in the field is one of the first places, and they are all in their own way God's outdoor cathedrals, a place where we can reflect on the grandeur of His great creation. It may be noisy as in the river but it is God's noise not man's noise that predominates, and it can be a place that is very quiet for the most part as it is in my field, with the only real noise being the wind blowing through the trees and the rustling leaves. I think we all need to find such places, and if they were utilized I think you might find our stress levels as a country decrease, and with the decreased stress levels, I think we would find that our medical needs go down also.

Just a thought.

The Awesome Journey

The Awesome Journey


Don't be anxious
Wait on the Lord
Don't let fear take hold
Trust in the Lord
Your life is a journey
Let God be the guide
Let God take hold
And follow His will
And His patient hand
Guide you on your way
Let His eternal calmness
Settle your troubled soul
Let the whisper of His vice
fall gently upon your ear
Open up your senses
And let Him into your life
Feel the warmth of His love
wash over your body like the sun.
Let His desire for your life
change your eternal soul.
His still hand allows
you to reach beyond the grave.
When you learn to trust
In His will for you
You set upon a journey
of awesome proportions
Don't be envious
of what others have
Be joyful of what you have
In God's great plan.
And enjoy your ride
On God's awesome journey.

Paul Bartoswicz 7/26/09

I wrote this poem during church on July 26th as I reflected on what life had to offer as well as a reflection on Pastor Dan Mitchum's sermon series he has been preaching on. The whole financial mess we find ourselves in today is in part due to envy, we must be able to keep up with the Jonses and have everything they have regardless f how much debt we must bury ourselves in to get it, then our financial lives are so finally balanced, that one little blip in our finances slips us over into the abyss of despair.